I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize