Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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