Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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