me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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