If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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