She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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