Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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