I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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