Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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