i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
honey bunches of taint.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize