Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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