I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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