I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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