You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize