Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couch. On fire.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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