But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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