who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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