I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He has the fingertips of a God
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