Don't make out with my wife yet
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize