I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize