it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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