You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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