so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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