I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you win again, gameday.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize