I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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