i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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