Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
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I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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