I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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