Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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