You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize