The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize