Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize