Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize