I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize