I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
FUCK WHALES
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