Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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