when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize