also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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