You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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