the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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