We won't sleep together?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize