i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize