just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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