wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize