she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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