Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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