look no pants
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize