I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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