I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize