My Higher Power is John Stamos
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He passed out mid-signature
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize