And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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