Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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